“She's still grieving her cat.”

"She is doing grieving wrong. I know how long it's supposed to take."
-If you’ve discovered the correct amount of grieving, please share with the rest of humanity.

"She is grieving her cat."

Look, we vanquished scorn and fostered sympathy in its place.

“I still don't know what I want to major in.”

To find a major, when you Still don't have one, is focusing on your supposed
deficiency of not finding a major fast enough.

"I don't know what I want to major in."

Lovely, lets approach this question with curiosity. Tell me about your options.

“Are you still writing your dissertation?”

Are you wearing Kevlar boxers? Why? Oh no reason.
I just think one might want a little extra protection.

“Yet”

"Just reinstall the printer driver."
"You just have to download the repo and build it. And just remember to update npm first...”

“It just doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

"I'll see you for dinner at six..."

Yay! I look forward to seeing you. I believe you will be here at six.

" ... I promise"

I no longer expect you at six 😢

“Don't Worry”

Wishy-washiest. Word. Ever.
That ugly thing: Shoooouuuld yich.
Eliminate it and speak with intention.

"I should take probiotics"

Do you or don't you take probiotics? What is this state of "should" you describe?

"I should be there by six."

see "Promise", above.

"Someone should clean this place up”

means, "I have no intention of cleaning this place up."

And one beautiful word:

Goood gracious, Louise! Will you look at that magnificent, sexy, adonis of a word. I can’t pull my eyes away. I wish only to sit at its feet with a jar of Nutella, listening to Lou Rawls. ^[1]

Why is a beacon of curiosity, a thirst for discovery. Apply it repeatedly, perpetually unwrapping the next layer of knowing.

But before we go why-ing about, beware the Judgemental Why, and its emotional carnage. Judgemental Why is a synonym for "You shouldn't have".
“Why did you leave the house unlocked?”,
“Why did you wear the blue dress”
These signal disapproval. These are not the Why’s you’re looking for.

Consider that LLMs trained on all of human speech, when asked “Why did you ... ” will be very likely to interpret your innocent question as critique. By merely inquiring Why, they are likely to correct themselves, without even being told that they are wrong. In the conversations of their training, a Why question nearly always implies a problem, and is followed by a defense.

I suggest you master the Inquisitive Why. It’s all in your tone.
The “I wish to understand.” Why.
The “What is your unique reason, because I genuinely don’t know“ Why.
The Why that means “Tell me in your own words, I’m listening”.

If I were to ask you, “Why are you sad that your dog died?” I don’t mean that you shouldn’t be sad, or that anyone wouldn’t be sad. But people are sad for different reasons. Lets explore yours. Some are sad because they blame themselves, others because the dog suffered. If you have space for an answer, that answer will contain a path of discovery.

With a generous tone, ask someone “Why are you spending a month in a writing residency?”, and you’ll both learn something.